


Disconnect

by cactusandafern



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Angst, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Lesbian Character, Slow Burn, good old country setting!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-29
Packaged: 2019-04-05 08:21:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14040120
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cactusandafern/pseuds/cactusandafern
Summary: "The inspiration Katya expected to find in the outside world wasn’t drawn from the landscape around her, it wasn’t torn from the rabbits or the other animals, and it wasn’t from the Stevie Nicks song that was still playing when she got home.No, her inspiration was found inside the big house just down the path, where a beautiful blonde woman watched from her window, counting how many times Katya turned around to look back at her."





	1. Chapter 1

One of Katya’s least favorite things about herself was her inability to get things done. Her fringe was falling into her eyes, and it had been for days now, only getting more annoying and more than just a hassle.

She cut her hair on her own, so it wasn’t as if she would go out of her way to get it cut, but she always brushed it off. Katya always claimed she had better things to do than cut her hair, even if it was annoying and a bother.

Whenever she did cut her own hair, she always left her it purposely uneven, cut in choppy layers that somehow managed to frame her face in a flattering way. The action was so _Katya,_ and she always made sure the hair cut was uniquely her.

Katya tapped her wooden pencil against the desk, unable to hear it over the sound of the music she was listening to on full volume throughout the house.

Stevie Nicks’ voice was drifting around the small rooms, comforting Katya and reminding her that no matter how lonely she got, she’d always have Stevie.

Katya liked the isolation given to her by the countryside, how she was able to freely run around the floral fields around her home, careful of the honeybees and rabbits that lived along with her.

She could crank her music all the way up, as there were no neighbors to have to turn it down for.

She could wear any outfit she wanted, some days picking out absurd outfits just because she could, twirling around the country fields in long skirts that brushed along into the dirt-- dragging along behind her, staining bright green.

Katya liked the wildflowers because they grew on their own. They were such beautiful things to capture on paper, in charcoal pencils that stained her hands in black and grey, transferring to her furniture and sheets when she was too lazy to wash off her hands before falling into bed.

Katya could never take care of things on her own, she was forgetful and immature when it came to even the simplest of tasks, like watering house plants or flowers sitting on her windowsill, bathing in the morning light.

Sometimes it did get lonely up here, the only other house within a mile radius being unoccupied. Katya had never met the people who had lived there, she’d only known they’d packed up their bags and had never come back after the death of her own parents.

Katya imagined the neighbors wouldn’t want to live alone like this, in a big open house with nobody around, the only neighbors having passed away due to a drunk driver on the way to the city.

It was eerie, the desolation sometimes creeping up on Katya, the memories of a childhood filled with regrets and troubles that were too late to take back.

The house down the path was a lot bigger than Katya’s, with two stories, big open windows and two large oak doors that were painted white. The walls were tall, made out of a stone, a white picket fence surrounding the property and large garden that was now dead and filled with decay.

Stevie’s voice rang through Katya’s home, the first song on the album now being replayed, Katya’s pencil still tapping against the desk, no ideas seeming to form inside her head.

Katya was itching for more adventure, there was only so much to do inside her home. From cleaning to cooking, to trying to figure out a new subject for the poem beginning to form up inside her, bubbling from inside her heart.

She needed a break, or at least something to occupy her mind, as no ideas were seeming to form today. There was always the plants growing in the backyard, the large willow tree, but one could only use plants as their subjects for so long before things begin to get boring.

The repetitiveness even boring even the author and artist herself, who would much rather write or paint humans, but who had not even a muse or friend within close enough distance to call over.

The empty pages of both her sketchbook and notebook were taunting her, and Katya found herself not being able to even look down at them now, being annoyed by even their presence.

Katya clumsily threw her chair back from the desk, slipping a pair of old converse on her feet before opening her door and walking out into the chilly afternoon air. It was colder than usual today, and Katya was glad she’d decided to wear a cardigan today-- even if it was mismatched.  

Her fringe was falling in her eyes again, and she muttered a curse before harshly brushing it away. Katya found herself longing for the twenty four clips she’d purchased at the market, all of which she’d managed to lose in the span of a week and a half. She still had no idea where they’d fallen off to.

Stevie’s voice could still be heard from inside her home, but Katya didn’t think there was anybody around to mind the informality.

One of the best parts about living in such a desolate countryside was the incomparable feeling of being able to be unapologetically yourself. You could play your music as loud as you wished, or you could even dance around to only the sound of the birds humming in the trees if that was more your style.

There was a small town only a few miles away, the town Katya had loved to cause trouble in when she was a child. Nothing had changed since she’d lived here, in fact, the town had somehow managed to shrink-- Katya would swear up and down it was bigger a few years ago, even if everyone who lived there had sworn it had stayed the same.

It was a closely knit town, where even the smallest bit of bit of trouble would pass around, being blown out of proportion, with details added and overaggerated to the point where it was almost comedic.

When Katya had lived in this same house, years ago when she was only sixteen, she absolutely hated the isolation. She would spend her days in the town, causing trouble just for the hell of it.

Katya liked being the center of the town’s attention, she relished in it. The town’s bad girl who smoked behind the church, the _rumored lesbian,_ even if Katya herself had even confirmed it, her parents continued to deny.  

Katya’s parents would scold her, telling her she was tarnishing her own reputation and it would only come to bite her in the ass someday. Katya hadn’t believed it, she’d shrugged off their words, leaving the house and smoking behind the church with a girl who loved to cause trouble almost as much as Katya did.

Violet was Katya’s first girlfriend, the only girl who was mentioned in conversations almost as much as Katya was throughout the town. She was pretty, but the beauty she had only ran so deep.

Katya had left for college when she was only seventeen, swearing she would never come back to the small town. She was a city girl anyways, she didn’t belong out here, in the middle of fucking nowhere.

She belonged in the night life, being able to smoke freely without getting frowned at or being able to kiss a woman without the priest coming over to her home to have a “special talk.” The city sounded a lot better than the small town, there seemed to be no downfalls, only benefits that Katya had _loved_ to take advantage of.

The city life wasn’t as glamorous as Katya had expected, she was fucked over too many times, the real world around her forcing her to grow up and realize that actions did have consequences, that would affect more than just the reputation she had.

In all honesty, sometimes city life was fun, especially the clubs and women. Katya could party, boy could she party, drinking a few glasses before finding a pretty woman to take home for the night.

That was just during college, and everything seemed to slow when Katya finally realized she would have to settle down eventually.

The parties stopped, as did the drinking and women, but some of her habits stayed. She found an apartment in the heart of the city, moving in with a red haired woman who turned out to be the biggest contribution in Katya’s recovery.

Katya worked at a department store, all of the painting and art courses seemingly going to waste. She was twenty five and already beginning to get bored of the life she was living, of the routine she was beginning to have, even if Katya knew it was what was best for her.

It was only when Katya got the call from her aunt informing her of her parent’s unfortunate accident, that she ever truly thought about coming back to the countryside.

Katya had cried as she packed up her half of the small apartment, packing all of her bags and heading back to that small little town in the countryside.

Leaving the city was hard, her roommate had understood, giving her a kiss on the cheek and a tight hug before Katya got on the train, leaving the routine she’d somehow managed to perfectly create, behind.

Upon her return, Katya found she was left with a hefty amount of money, her old childhood home and regret.

Her aunt came and helped her sort through everything, helped her sell the old furniture and buy new things. They were both grieving, but the renovations were almost therapeutic, helping Katya release any anger and regret she still had.

Gone were the dark walls and dim lights, in came more windows and rooms painted light green that would eventually be covered in trees and flowers, symbolising not only Katya’s own growth and maturity, but also forgiveness.

Katya’s cardigan blew in the wind, the scent of flowers prominent in the spring air. The air was fresh, a good refresher from the scent of coffee and cigarettes that constantly wafed around her house.

She found herself wandering towards the old house up the path, hoping she would find inspiration over towards that direction. Katya rarely headed over there anyways, so maybe she really would find what she was looking for.

Katya was desperate for something, anything, at this point. She was just itching for ideas, itching for something new.

Ideas were buried deep inside of her, the only problem being that Katya didn’t have anything to help them grow into the great stories and ideas she knew they could be.

On her walk towards the house, Katya passed by rabbits and a few squirrels, running up and down the large trees that were sprinkled around. She’d always wanted a pet, but she’d never had one, even growing up.

The thought of having to raise such a small creature scared her, just the thought of something alone having to depend on her was quite a frightening thought.

The abandoned house itself was about half a mile away from Katya’s, it could barely be seen through her window, just a small spec in the distance. Sometimes she found comfort at looking at it through her window, just something to remind her that it wasn’t just her house out here all alone.

Katya kicked a few pebbles as she walked, no other sound but the sounds of birds chirping and bees buzzing. It was a pleasant sound she supposed, peaceful, but it was too familiar.

 _Everything_ around here was too familiar, she’d seen and heard it a thousand times. The birds were the same, the same flowers sprouted from the ground every spring-- Katya was beginning to crave something new.

Maybe something new was what she needed all along, it surprised Katya that she hadn’t thought of it sooner, even if she hadn’t been here for very long.

Now, even though she’d only been back for a short amount of time, Katya had found herself beginning to love the country. Even after all of the heartbreaks she’d gone through in that small home, those heartbreaks only embedded the place deeper into her soul.

 

Something caught Katya’s attention as she walked closer to the old house, a car parked in the driveway that she had never seen before. It was new and shiny, creating a strange contrast to the country and nature from its surroundings.

Katya crept closer, now only fifty feet away from the house itself. There were boxes and the driver’s side of the car was left wide open, Katya just hoped whoever owned the vehicle would shut it before animals or mosquitos found their way inside.

A woman appeared not more than a minute later, busting through the two white doors of the house with a smile on her face, her chest rising and falling at an alarmingly fast pace. Katya was cautious even from fifty feet away, wondering why the woman was so happy.

The woman’s happiness seemed almost as a strange contrast against the landscape as the car, but Katya was seemingly intrigued.

The woman’s curls fell down her back, golden as they reflected off the spring sun. There was laughter in her dark brown eyes that could be seen even from twenty-something feet away.

She was leaning down, digging into one of the boxes that sat down onto the porch. As Katya neared, planning to go say hi or introduce herself, she began to feel like things would be better if she just turned away and walked back home.

What would she even say? Katya could only imagine how suspicious it would seem if she were to just waltz up and say hello, as if her being here wasn’t strange.  

“Hello?” Katya called, waving slightly and causing the woman to divert her attention to where Katya was walking towards her. The woman stood, brushing her hands onto her light washed jeans, leaving dusty fingerprints on her thighs.

The woman didn’t seem alarmed like Katya had assumed, instead she seemed almost happy to see Katya. Before Katya knew it, the woman was making her way down the porch and closer to Katya.

“Hi! Are you the neighbor?” Her voice was light, her hair bouncy as she skipped over. Katya glanced over to where her home was, seeming a million miles away from this distance. She was surprised the woman even knew it was a house; from over here it looked a lot more like a shed compared to the big intimidating structure in front of her.

“Yes, I am actually. I’m Katya, I live in the only house _within_ a mile radius from you.” Katya said, smiling lightly. “I didn’t know anyone was moving in or lived here in the first place. I just moved back here myself.”

Katya’s fear of rambling on only grew as the woman raised her eyebrow, but outstretched her hand for a handshake anyways after a pause.

Katya shook it, careful not to shake the woman’s hand too hard or hold it too tightly. Although something about the energy radiating off the woman told Katya she could handle it. Her hand was warm, and much bigger than Katya’s was, the woman was also a head taller than she was, and Katya found herself having to crane her head just the slightest bit.

“Were you planning to break in?” Katya laughed at the absurdity of the question, but upon realizing the serious expression on the woman’s face, her laughter and smile both faded.

“God no! I was just looking for some inspiration for something, it’s a very beautiful house I swear. The beauty is really the only reason i’m--” The woman tipped her head back and laughed, shaking her head and waving Katya off.

“I’m just messing with you! You don’t seem to be the type to randomly break into creepy old houses, I hope you aren’t at least. I’m Beatrice, but _please_ call me Trixie.” Katya felt her cheeks flame, releasing an involuntary breath she’d been subconsciously holding.

“That’s a really pretty name, both Beatrice and Trixie.” Katya wanted to cringe at how hoarse her voice sounded. Trixie’s voice sounded smooth like honey, and she looked just as sweet. Years of smoking had changed Katya’s voice, made it sound constantly hoarse, but it was her own fault.

“Thank you. I like yours too, I haven’t ever met a Katya before.” Trixie smiled, and she really did have a pretty smile. Katya found herself being envious, even if she knew she had a good smile herself.

Katya also found herself wishing she’d spent more time on her makeup this morning. Sometimes she did it just to feel pretty, but today she’d just smeared on some black eyeshadow, added some mascara and a red lipstick and then she was done.

Trixie looked so pretty, with naturally long eyelashes and winged eyeliner that impressed Katya to an extent that was almost embarrassing.

“Is it just you moving in?” Katya asked, looking at Trixie. Trixie’s eyes were brighter than Katya had thought, the color closer to milk chocolate than dark. Either way, they were beautiful.

“Yes, it’s just me here. My grandpa gave this house to me as a birthday gift actually. He and my grandma were the previous owners.” Katya whistled, stepping back to crane her neck up at the house.

“That’s one hell of a birthday gift.” Trixie nodded in agreement, looking up at the house herself. “The most i’ve ever gotten for my birthday was a few dollars and a bar of chocolate.” Katya laughed, making sure Trixie knew she was joking.

“It is. I think a little country is what I need.” Trixie smiled after Katya had spoken, little dimples appearing on both cheeks. “Although it seems quite lonely out here. I thought my grandpa was exaggerating when he said there was only one or two people around at the most.”

Katya shrugged, rocking back and forth on her heels, looking around. Everything already seemed brighter, or Katya could just be seeing things.

“It can be lonely. The town mostly just cares about gossip, so I usually prefer staying out here. Sometimes, I get so lonely though that I can’t resist and end up wandering into town anyways.” Trixie cocked her head again, a birdlike gesture that Katya appreciated.

“You’re here by yourself?” Trixie asked, and Katya nodded, looking down at her neatly trimmed fingernails. “Forgive me if this is a bit too forward, but would you want to come in for a cup of tea? We can be lonely together?”

Katya’s attention was snapped back up to Trixie’s eyes, her mouth dry. The wind made her shiver, but she nodded as she pulled her cardigan closer.

It hadn’t been what Katya had expected her to ask, but she was all in. This was the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen, and she was already being invited in for tea?

“I’d like that.” Katya said, her mood uplifting more than it had in days. “Need help carrying in these boxes first?”

“That would be lovely.”

Katya hadn’t thought she’d ever see the inside of this house, but she found it to be one of the most beautiful homes she’d ever seen. The buildings in the city were beautiful, but they were nothing compared to this.

Even if the outside of the home was seemingly intimidating, the inside seemed more like it was straight out of pride and prejudice.

As they made their way to the kitchen, Trixie explained how her grandpa had left the place fully furnished when he and his wife had moved to Wisconsin to be closer to the family, so all she really had to bring was her clothes.

“.. although in my opinion there isn’t enough color here and it’s much too bland--” Trixie glanced over at Katya, who was looking around the house with big eyes. “I’m sorry if I talk too much, it’s a bad habit.”

Katya looked over at Trixie, who was looking back with an apologetic look on her face. Katya’s heart sunk a little at that look, she much preferred seeing Trixie with a smile rather than the look she was seeing now.

“I like hearing the things you have to say.” Katya’s answer was simple, but it was the truth, and Trixie seemed satisfied with Katya’s answer. Katya hoped she wasn’t coming off too flirty, even if she really did have already blooming romantic feelings towards this woman.

Katya couldn’t help but look at Trixie instead of the house more and more. Trixie seemed so much more interesting and beautiful than anything in the entire house, and Katya liked to admire her.

It felt wrong though, and she couldn’t help but feel guilty about the way she was feeling. Katya would do anything to press a kiss on Trixie’s neck, feel how soft Trixie’s curls were under the touch of her fingertips.

She hadn’t properly kissed a woman in over two years, she hadn’t kissed _anyone_ in two years, so Katya wasn’t surprised at her sudden outburst of pent up romantics.

“Sorry if I came off too forward too, by inviting you in I mean. I just,” Trixie hesitated as she walked around the kitchen, taking things out of the cabinets as she put the pot of water on the stove. “I want to get to know you. You’re my only neighbor after all, why not start getting to know each other today?”

Katya laughed, and Trixie smiled, Katya could physically see the relief fill her body. Katya herself hadn’t thought the invitation as strange, she had found it undeniably sweet.

Based off of Trixie’s actions and invitation, Katya got the creeping suspicion that Trixie didn’t like to be alone. She seemed like a people person, unafraid to ask Katya to come inside, happy and inviting. Katya wondered what she was looking to find out here in the countryside.

“I think that’s a good idea to start now.” Katya said softly, it was a lot quieter than either woman expected, and Trixie found herself looking up to look at Katya’s eyes again.  

Katya held her breath when Trixie’s eyes met her own, god she was desperate. Loneliness could do that to you, but Katya knew these feelings that were arising weren’t only rising from the lack of company.

Even if Katya had been in a crowd, a million people standing around her, she had a creeping suspicion that out of all those people she’d find and choose Trixie.

“Anyways,” Katya coughed out, a lot louder than her previous statement had been. “What’s your favorite color?”

Trixie directed her attention back to the tea as she pondered the question. The tea was done and she was pouring it into two yellow coffee mugs.

“I like the color pink.” Trixie said after a moment. “I wear it a lot, but I also really like pastel colors overall. I think the brighter the color, the better.”

Katya laughed, she’d expected the answer to be something pastel. The blue sweater Trixie was wearing was a light pastel blue, and it made her skin and eyes look bright, even in the dim lighting of the kitchen.

Katya followed Trixie over to one of the couches, and they sat close for strangers, but neither woman minded much. Trixie handed Katya a mug, Katya accepting it gratefully.

Katya noticed how Trixie smelled like lavender, and Katya liked it. Little beads of sweat had formed on Trixie’s temples, but Katya found the house to be quite cold rather than hot.

“What do you do?” Trixie asked. “Hobby or career wise I mean.”

Katya took a sip of her tea, shrugging before setting it down onto the coffee table. The truth was, she didn’t do a lot, but she wasn’t about to tell the prettiest woman she’d ever seen that.

Katya was looking to impress the woman here, not have her think Katya is some spoiled twenty-something year old who doesn’t do anything impressive in her life.

“I like to paint, draw, and write. My parents died a few years ago, and they were well off in income so I got a pretty good inheritance. I used to work at the flower shop in town, and I still do that as a summer job.”

“I’m sorry about your parents.” Trixie said, and Katya gave her a weak smile in response. Katya hadn’t wanted to make the conversation go that deep, or dark, but she’d said too much anyways. “What do you write about? Draw?”

“I draw and paint the landscapes. I try to make it abstract and different though, something different than everyone else's.” Trixie smiled at Katya, taking a sip of her tea out of her own mug.

“I would like to see your paintings someday, if you’d let me?” Katya never really showed her paintings to anyone, the main reason being there wasn’t anyone to actually show them too.

Although she would love an excuse to see Trixie again, so Katya nodded anyway. Trixie smiled, relaxing a little bit into her couch again.

She looked so comfortable, and up close Katya could see the small little freckles on Trixie’s face. They were light, and could barely be seen, but they were there, and Katya liked them. She liked them a lot.

Trixie smiled a lot, Katya liked that, she didn’t smile enough. “Any hobbies you like?”

“I love gardening. A lot of people don’t really think it’s fun, but I really love it.” Trixie set her cup down on the coffee table next to Katya’s and began messing with the fraying sleeves of her worn sweater. “I also like to sing and play guitar, but i’m no good.”

Katya scoffed, not believing Trixie’s words. Trixie had the face of an angel, and Katya was pretty positive she had the voice of one too. Was that too cheesy? Katya supposed so, but it was the truth.

“I doubt you’re ‘no good.’” Trixie raised an eyebrow, sitting up straighter from the position she was in on the couch.

“I’ll play for you and show you how good I am if you show me your paintings or let me read some of your writing?” A compromise. Katya sat up straight, matching Trixie’s posture.

“Deal.”

 

\----

Trixie and Katya talked longer than either of them expected to. It was well past four when Katya finally excused herself.

“I probably should get going.” Katya said, after checking the clock that hung just above the door. “I don’t want to bother you anymore than I already have.”

Trixie laughed, shaking her head. Her curls reflected in the light from the open window they’d cracked open just moments ago.

“You haven’t bothered me at all, Katya.” Trixie said, flicking a curl over her shoulder. “It was nice to have company already. Honestly, please come by anytime.”

Katya stood up, brushing her hands onto her jeans, Trixie standing up no more than a beat later.

“Next time i’ll bring some wine.” Trixie laughed again, putting her hands on her hips as she and Katya walked to the front door.

“Trying to get me drunk are you?” Katya laughed, shaking her head as Trixie opened the door.

Trixie was somehow already Katya's favorite person in this small town. Their conversations were so effortless, even if Katya still did get choked up at the younger girl's beauty, they  _understood_ each other somehow. 

“You’ve found my plan, get the pretty girl drunk so she’ll sing for me and I won’t have to show her my paintings.” Trixie put her hand flat against the doorframe, glaring at Katya, but her eyes still had that light in them. 

“Not going to happen. I won’t sing a single note until you show me some of those paintings, or drawings, or whatever you write.” Trixie responded smoothly, flicking some of her curls over her shoulder. 

Katya rolled her eyes. “I’m glad you’re not picky.”

Trixie playfully shoved her, and then they were both outside, standing on Trixie’s porch. It was even colder now, even Trixie was crossing her arms over her sweater.

“Get home alright. Don’t freeze to death.” Katya was holding her cardigan tightly, she wasn’t sure she could make any promises.

Then with a wave, Katya was gone, walking down the porch and starting down the path.

On the way home Katya was practically skipping, itching to write something down onto paper. The inspiration she’d expected to find in the outside world wasn’t from the landscape around her, it wasn’t from the rabbits or the animals, it wasn’t from the Stevie Nicks song that was still playing when she got home.

No, her inspiration was found inside the big house just down the path, where a beautiful blonde woman watched from her window, counting how many times Katya turned around to look back at her.

When Katya had gotten home that night, her pencil had hit the page almost immediately. She didn’t have the energy to yank open her drawers and collect all her tubes of paint, search through for the right colors-- it would take too much time, and she wanted the image fresh in her mind.

So Katya had decided to break out her charcoal pencils, and then she drew, inspiration running through her veins. 

Looks like Katya found her inspiration after all.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Much to Katya’s disdain, she didn’t see Trixie for another three days after their first encounter. It was partially her fault, she was too afraid to walk over to Trixie’s house even to just go say hello. It was too intimidating, the fear and feeling of being a bother or an inconvenience. 

Katya had been painting on canvas when she heard the knock on the door, no music was playing today, she’d much preferred her thoughts over slow tunes that she knew would inevitably distract her.  

Her makeup was nonexistent, it was only ten in the morning, and she’d gotten up no more than an hour ago, working on her latest piece that she’d conjured up in a dream. She’d awoken wide eyed, sweaty, her duvet feeling too scratchy on her skin, rushing to her studio to get started. 

Katya was desperate to make her hair, at the very least, presentable before answering the door, frantically combing through the unkempt mess as she made her way through the house. 

Even though the studio was the furthest room away from the front door, it would not take Katya very long to reach the door. Whoever was on the other side would just have to deal with seeing knots in her hair and faint bags under her eyes, remnants of yesterday’s makeup no doubt embedded in the creases. 

Katya never had visitors, nobody bothering to come see her from the city. The chances of Trixie being on the other side of Katya’s door were very likely, the thought giving Katya a small thrill, thinking Trixie wanted to see her again.  

“Coming!” God Katya hoped she didn’t smell like cigarette smoke, although that was inevitable. She had smoked at least three already this morning, taking a break half an hour after she had starting painting. 

Some days she longed for the bustling of the city, the constant noise that she could never seem to escape. It was a nice reminder, he thousands of different people whose voices would float through the open window of her apartment and remind her that life really wasn’t that bad anyways. 

Today was one of the days she was glad for the quiet and distance from the city, her ideas were more alive, Katya could almost feel them thriving along in the fields around her and the skies above. 

Katya took a deep breath before swinging open the door, an involuntary smile tugging at her lips when Trixie was standing right on her doorstep. A paper bag was swinging in her left hand, slightly straightening her back.

“Good morning.” Trixie chirped, as if this occurrence had happened a million times before. She was confident, wearing a bright yellow sweater that shone brighter than the sun did today, it was an interesting contrast to the somewhat cloudy skies. “I went into town and was unsurprisingly drawn into the bakery, so, I bought some pastries and muffins, I was wondering if you wanted some?” 

Katya hadn’t eaten, so she gratefully obliged, stepping out of the doorway so Trixie could enter the home. 

“Good morning, Trixie. That would be lovely, thank you.” Once Trixie was inside, eyes instantly boggling, Katya gently shut the door and took a deep breath. 

“What’d you think of the town?” Katya asked, as Trixie continued to take in the threshold. Katya was just glad she’d cleaned yesterday, her house was just as strange as she was, maybe more so to the people who didn’t exactly know her well yet. 

“It was.. interesting.” Trixie said dismissively after a pause.“Everyone was friendly enough I suppose, but it’s a lot smaller than I thought it would be.” 

Katya laughed, leading Trixie towards the kitchen. The windows in the kitchen were open, an ashtray sitting on the windowsill that Katya really wished she’d moved somewhere else. If Trixie saw it she didn’t make a comment, her eyes continuing to roam.

“It is small, but there are a few gems if you look in the right places.” Trixie chuckled at Katya’s words, setting the paper bag onto the granite counter. 

“I wasn’t sure what you like so I got a few different things, hopefully you’ll like one of them.” Katya beamed, opening the bag, rummaging through before taking out a plain croissant. Trixie raised an eyebrow at her choice, maintaining eye contact with the older woman as she bit into the pastry. 

“Of course you’d pick that one.” Trixie was amused, taking her own pastry of choice after Katya slid the bag back over to Trixie’s side of the counter. Trixie had chosen a blueberry muffin, some of the sugar transferring from the top to her lips. “I bet you take your coffee plain too?”

“No,” Katya swallowed hard, her cheeks visibly turning pink under Trixie’s visibly scrutinizing gaze. “I love coffee creamer, adore it.” 

Trixie shook her head, her eyes taunting at Katya’s lie. Trixie smiled though, sweet as the sugar coating her lips, the same sugar that Katya wanted to so desperately lick off. 

Katya was positive with or without the sugar Trixie would be irresistibly sweet. If she ever did cross that line with Trixie, the thought had crossed her mind many times, Katya was unsure she’d ever be able to go back. 

“Any plans for today?” Trixie asked, expectantly looking at Katya. She was running her tongue over her lip now, and Katya was unable to look away, almost completely forgetting Trixie had asked a question all together. 

“None that come to mind.” Katya finally answered, meeting Trixie’s gaze again instead of spending all attention on her lips. Trixie hummed, eating the last few bites of the blueberry muffin. “What about you?” 

Trixie hummed again, thinking for a moment before shaking her head. She had a few pins in her hair today, her curls pinned back, lightly shining with hairspray. 

“I don’t have any later in the day.” Trixie said nonchalantly, examining one of her fingernails. “I promised to call my grandfather around eleven, but after that i’ll probably just explore the countryside, maybe go on a drive.” 

It was obvious even to Katya, who was one of the worst people at reading social cues, that Trixie wanted her to come with. It was written on Trixie’s face clearly, and Katya wasn’t about to let her down.

“Would you want some company?” Trixie’s eyes flickered back to Katya’s. Trixie seemed satisfied with this question, as if she’d doubted Katya would ask it to her. It gave Katya  _ her own  _ feeling of satisfaction, the feeling of doing something right already.

“I would  _ love  _ company.” Trixie was leaning against the counter, her hip digging into the cool granite. “I have to call my grandpa around eleven, but I can come back around twelve?” 

Katya was nodding, not even taking time to think of a response. Trixie didn’t bother waiting for any other response, taking the paper bag off the counter before swinging around and leaving. 

Katya was left standing in the kitchen, gripping onto the cool counter as she replayed Trixie’s words through her head. She was still trying to wrap her head around everything, the way Trixie had effortlessly commanded the conversations, the way she’d walked into Katya’s house like she’d been there a thousand times-- it was refreshing. 

Everything was beginning to feel unfamiliar, Katya’s days starting to become just a little more unpredictable. Katya liked it a lot more than she was willing to admit this early in the day, but she couldn’t help the fluttering in her stomach as she got dressed, dressing in her favorite outfit that was usually only saved for special occasions. 

Trixie ended up being back at a quarter past twelve, rapping on the door twice. Katya didn’t want to admit she’d been waiting by the front door, and she found herself waiting a few seconds before answering. 

“You look pretty.” Trixie commented when Katya swung open the door for the second time that day. Katya had put on a bit of makeup in the spare time, nothing too special from her usual routine. “You looked pretty earlier too, but did you get dolled up for little old me?” Katya snorted, rolling her eyes.

“If you’re calling yourself old, what am I?” Without a beat Trixie responded, grinning wickedly,

“Ancient.” Katya rolled her eyes again, sticking her tounge out before hopping onto the porch beside Trixie and shutting the front door. “Ready for an  _ adventure?”  _

“Where are we going?” Katya asked Trixie, having to tilt her head to be able to look Trixie in her eyes. 

“I don’t know. I was just hoping we could walk the hills and see what we could find.” Trixie admitted as they began walking, looking up at the sky and squinting. “If we get lost though, I brought snacks and some things to drink.”

Katya laughed at Trixie’s last comments, not telling Trixie that it was nearly impossible for the two of them to get lost. Katya knew almost every hill, tree and path like the back of her hand, she would easily be able to navigate them home if they even turned the wrong direction. 

“At least there’s that.” Katya said, smiling at the knitted bag Trixie had swung around one shoulder. 

Trixie seemed happy, a bounce in her step as they walked to nowhere in particular. Everytime Katya had seen Trixie she’d been happy, a smile constantly on her face that Katya always found herself reciprocating. 

It made the countryside seem a little less dark and lonely, Trixie’s energy giving the fields a new light that Katya didn’t think she’d ever seen before. 

“Do you have any romantic interests with anybody in the town?” Trixie had asked the question a few moments later, without any context to it. To her it hadn’t been a big deal, just a simple question to ask her new friend out of sheer curiosity. 

Katya hadn’t been expecting that question, her eyes widening before choking on a cough. Katya shook her head, Trixie watching her with a smug expression that Katya wanted to rub off. 

“Nobody.” Katya replied, dismissively dropping Trixie’s gaze. Katya wished she hadn’t dropped Trixie’s gaze, it made her seem as if she was hiding something or just trying to flat out avoid the question at hand. “Do you have anybody back home?”

Trixie didn’t seem to think the question was as unexpected as Katya had, answering simply not even having to look over at Katya again. 

“Not really. A few flings here and there, nothing too serious.” Trixie kicked a few of the pebbles in front of her, watching as they rolled through the grass. “There is someone I do have my sights set on if we’re being completely honest.” 

“Oh? What’s he like?” Katya had thrown the question loosely, trying to once again seem nonchalant. Her heart was beating too quickly, a blush threatening to rise. Trixie could see Katya’s flustered reaction, a smile threatening to tug on her own lips. 

“What makes you think it was a man?” Trixie raised an eyebrow, a smug smile on her face when Katya visibly blushed this time. Katya knew she was bound for disaster. 

Katya never was good at restraining herself, and she just hoped that she’d be able to hold herself together for the remainder of the walk. With the mixture of Trixie and the grooves and ridges in the fields of green, Katya knew disaster was inevitable. 

“Is it?” Katya didn’t waste a beat asking, the hope visibly prominent in her voice. 

“Nope.” Trixie answered, just as smoothly. They were an interesting pair, so similar yet so different. Katya still felt a little off balanced, desperate to find her footing again- both figuratively and literally- to maybe find out about whoever Trixie was pursuing. 

They walked in silence for a few minutes, Katya trying to analyze Trixie’s words. She looked over at Trixie a few times, and every time she looked, Trixie was still staring off, a thoughtful look on her face. 

“It’s beautiful out here.” Trixie was the first to break the silence, but it was welcoming. “It’s so different than any place i’ve ever been. Sometimes it’s strange because when i’m sitting in that big house alone, it’s only me any my thoughts.” 

Trixie’s voice was soft, the confession making every one of her features smooth out as she exhaled. Katya wanted to know why she seemed so sad now, so distant, when she’d been here only a moment ago. 

“I can understand that.” Katya said truthfully. She wanted to say more, but just couldn’t think of anything more to say on the subject. Trixie’s words were more of a confession, Katya wouldn’t feel right elaborating. 

They were in silence again, but this time it was a comfortable silence. Trixie was enjoying the scenery around them, and Katya-- well Katya was enjoying Trixie. 

Around five minutes later they reached a small pond. It was murky, a lot dirtier than Katya remembered it to be. Then again, the last time she’d actually been back to this pond was when she’d been no older than sixteen. 

“Want to sit here for awhile?” Trixie asked, looking around. There was a large oak tree that Katya had always liked to lay under, staring up at the branches and counting how many rabbits ran past. 

“Sure.” Katya replied, kneeling down onto the grass. She was sure her jeans would get stained green, but she didn’t really mind anyways. The grass stains easily washed out. “I used to come here when I was little.” 

“You did?” Trixie asked, kneeling beside her. “I can imagine you liked to come here a lot?” 

Katya  _ had _ liked to come here a lot. Before her parents had passed, her house had never been quiet. Her parents always were bickering or laughing, drinking wine in the kitchen talking to a few friends that Katya had never learned the names of. 

Before, this used to be her quiet place. She’d discovered it when she was no older than nine, falling asleep under the very tree she was sitting under now. Her mom had been terrified convinced that Katya had gotten lost when she hadn’t returned for lunch that afternoon. 

Katya had been scolded when she returned hours later, giving her mother a sheepish smile in return of her mother’s scoldings. 

“I did.” Katya confirmed Trixie’s guess. “I would hide out here when I needed to get some quiet. I barely ever come here now though, this is the first time in years i’ve actually been back.” 

Trixie smiled, tilting her head a little bit as she studied Katya. Katya found that Trixie did it a lot, but she didn’t think it was something Trixie realized she was doing. 

“So,” Trixie took the bag off of her shoulders, digging into the largest pocket. “I know I said I brought snacks but I also brought wine.” 

Katya laughed hard as Trixie screwed open the top. It didn’t take a lot of effort, and Trixie flicked her hair over her shoulder when the bottle was finally open. 

“I was even smart and opened it before I left the house. I plan ahead.” Katya laughed again, not even caring that the time was a few minutes before twelve in the afternoon. She hadn’t drank in awhile, so she allowed herself the pleasure of drinking with Trixie. 

“I didn’t bring any glasses so we’re drinking straight from the bottle if that’s alright with you?” Katya didn’t have a problem with it, shaking her head no. Trixie broughts the bottle up to her lips, closing her eyes as she took a good drink of it. 

For awhile they passed around the bottle, telling each other stories and laughing at each other. It was clear that neither of them was a lightweight, drinking all of the wine that Trixie had. 

Katya and Trixie were sitting with their backs against the tree, Trixie’s curls brushing against the bark. Katya thought her hair was too pretty to be brushing against something as dirty as the tree bark, but Trixie didn’t seem to mind. 

Neither of them checked the time, because really neither one of them bothered to care. At one point, Trixie randomly stood up, wobbly on her feet. 

“Can I braid flowers in your hair?” Katya was surprised by the question, but nodded. Goosebumps rose on her arms at the thought of Trixie’s hands running through her hair, in both this context and another-

“You don’t even have to ask.” Katya responded, giving Trixie a light smile as she began to pick flowers out of the grass. Trixie didn’t seem to have any pattern in picking the flowers except for the fact they were all full and beautiful. 

When Trixie came over, hands full of wildflowers, Katya felt her heart flutter. Katya moved away from the tree, kneeling instead so she was facing the pond, watching the way the water rippled and move.

Trixie came up, kneeling right behind Katya. She’d set the pile of flowers down next to Katya, and then began to comb her fingers through the kinks and tangles. Katya swore she brushed them all out earlier, and she was a bit embarrassed at how many knots Trixie combed out with only her hands.  

She never went too harsh, always sensitive and careful. Especially when Trixie began to braid and interweave the flowers. 

Katya began to fidget at one point, and Trixie had to press close to Katya’s back to keep her from messing around with the flowers. The scent of lavender was strong, but Katya found herself relishing in it.

Her eyes were closed, giving all of her attention to the way Trixie combed through her hair, slightly tugging but never too tight. 

“I finished.” Trixie said no more than five minutes later. Her voice sounded wobbly, and Katya could swear she could hear Trixie audibly swallow from behind her. 

Trixie came back around, kneeling right across from Katya so their knees were touching and Katya had no choice but to look Trixie straight in her eyes. 

Katya felt nervous under Trixie’s gaze, almost laughing where she noticed the small smudges the wine bottle left on Trixie’s lips, but her laughter died when she realized her’s was probably even more smeared than Trixie’s. 

“You look like a forest fairy.” Trixie’s voice was soft and sweet, Katya was once again reminded of how hoarse her voice sounded in comparison. Smoking could do that to you. 

“Compared to you I feel more like a forest troll.” Katya and Trixie both laughed, still very tipsy and now slightly drunk from more than just the wine. 

“Oh shut up.” Trixie responded, squinting at Katya before slightly leaning in to look at something. Katya wasn’t sure what she was doing, or what she was looking at, but her heart did that thing again. 

It was beating quick, from deep within her chest. It was loud, and Katya hoped it wasn’t loud enough to be audibly heard. It was a nice feeling, mixed with the wine and the butterflies in her chest. 

“What color are your eyes?” Trixie asked, and Katya watched as Trixie leaned in just a little bit closer. “I’m trying to decide if they’re blue or green but I just can’t tell.” 

Katya’s eyes were green, but they were constantly mistaken for blue. Trixie’s hands were on Katya’s knees, steadying her as she gazed into Katya’s eyes, biting her lower lip as she tried to decipher the color.

“Green.” Katya exhaled, Trixie was so close to Katya now. Close enough that if Katya were to move her head even a fraction of an inch, her lips would touch Trixie’s. 

Even though that was the only thing she wanted, she still wasn’t sure how Trixie would respond. The thought terrified her, she didn’t want to lose Trixie, even if Trixie was never hers to lose. 

Then Trixie was pulling back, one second she was there, and the next she wasn’t. Katya missed her the second she pulled back, and Katya wondered why. 

“It’s raining.” Trixie stated, looking up at the sky with a look of disinterest and annoyance. A laugh bubbled up from inside Katya. 

“You don’t like rain?” 

“I spent time on my hair this morning, I actually tried to make it look nice.” Katya laughed again, while Trixie pouted. “There wasn’t even any rain clouds!” 

“The country can shock you sometimes.” Katya said, cringing when she realized they’d have to walk back home in the rain that would probably come down harsher than it was already. “We should probably head back.” 

Katya stood up, her legs shaky, but she wasn’t so sure the shaking was just due to the alcohol or the weather. The walk back felt a lot longer than the walk there, both women were a little off still, but with some persistence they managed to get home alright. 

It was pouring by this point, and Katya insisted Trixie come inside. Trixie didn’t need much convincing, and walked inside Katya’s house gratefully. It had gotten a lot colder, both women shivering. 

“I can find some new clothes for you to wear?” Katya offered. “I also have makeup wipes and a warm shower?” 

“Please.” Trixie said, shivering. They had both sobered up a dramatic amount at this point, the cold rain also knocking them both out of whatever trance they’d been in under the tree. 

The flowers had been washed out of Katya’s hair in the rain, Katya found herself mourning the loss. 

Katya directed Trixie through the house, showing Trixie where the bathroom and shower was in the house. 

“Thank you.” Trixie said, stepping into the small space. “I doubt any of your clothes will fit me though, i’m a lot bigger than you are.” 

“I’m sure I can find something.” Katya responded. “I’ll find some and bring them to you.” Trixie nodded as Katya left, Katya making sure to point out where the makeup wipes were before leaving. 

Somehow, even with mascara and eyeliner running down her face, Trixie was still the most beautiful woman Katya had ever seen. It didn’t seem fair, Katya no doubt looked like a washed up raccoon. 

Katya searched her drawers, opening and closing them until she found a drawer filled with sweatpants and sweatshirts. 

One of these were bound to fit Trixie, so Katya picked a pair at random. The pair she picked was too big enough for her anyways. 

Katya also grabbed a pair of sweatpants for herself, before moving onto another drawer and picking out two t-shirts for the both of them. The one she picked for Trixie was an old one she got when she was in the city, that read “Kiss me, i’m Russian.” 

She wasn’t actually Russian, but sometimes she’d pretended to. Katya had taken Russian in college, just as a funny class that she knew would never be helpful. 

Although it ended up being one of the hardest classes, if not the hardest class, she took. She was far from fluent, but could still say some phrases and maybe hold up a conversation if you went easy on her. 

Trixie came wandering out of the bathroom no more than five minutes later, a towel wrapped tightly around her body and her hair wet and wavy. 

This was the first time Katya had seen Trixie without any makeup, and she was remarkably beautiful. At this point Katya was convinced Trixie was ethereal. Nobody could look this beautiful all of the time. 

“I brought some clothes.” Katya handed Trixie the clothes before awkwardly coughing and looking away. “-I can put your regular clothes in the dryer. I’m just going to go take a shower really fast.” 

Katya could hear Trixie’s laugh from her room as she dashed through the hall. She was back to being awkward around Trixie, her witt and nerve completely gone at this point. 

The bathroom was filled with steam, Trixie’s wet clothes folded neatly on the countertop. Katya turned around, locking the door behind her as she stripped out of her wet clothes and hopped into the shower. 

The water was turned as hot as it could go, and it felt good against Katya’s cool skin. She exhaled, itching for a cigarette so she could try and piece her mind back together. Katya wasn’t going to smoke, not while Trixie was here at least. 

The shower Katya took was quick, quickly scrubbing her body with the washcloth and orange bar of soap. She quickly rubbed her shampoo through her hair, washing all the soap off underneath the hot stream of water. 

Normally she would relish in the warm water and the heat, but she didn’t want to keep Trixie waiting. 

She washed all the makeup off her face before stepping out and quickly drying off. Upon looking in the mirror, she noticed the small heart that was drawn in the steam on the mirror again. Katya smiled, wanting to reach out and touch the glass. 

Once she was changed and her hair was mildly dry, Katya grabbed the wet clothes and threw them in the dryer.

She hoped that she hadn’t left Trixie for too long, she was never good at telling time. 

Trixie was sitting on her bed when she came back, the shirt fitting fine but the pants a bit tight. She was looking at Katya’s walls, and it was only then that Katya realized she was looking at the designs Katya had painted on the walls. 

“Katya.” Trixie breathed, when Katya had sat down next to her on the bed. “Did you paint all of this?” 

Katya nodded, blushing furiously. She held great pride of the paintings on the walls, but nobody ever saw them. She’d painted cherry blossom trees, the blossoms scattered on different parts of the walls all throughout the room. Even the wooden dresser in the corner of the room was painted with stars and moons. 

“This is beautiful. You’re really  _ really  _ amazing.” Trixie’s mouth was agape still, her eyes filled with wonder. “Please, show me more.” 

“I thought we had a compromise.” Katya managed to say, only stuttering at the beginning of her sentence. “Only if I can hear you sing.”

“I will, I will. Just, please show me more.” Katya obliged, offering her hand out to Trixie to help her off the bed. Their hands were intertwined, and neither woman let go as Katya led Trixie silently through her house and into her studio space. 

Katya nervously opened the door, making sure she was careful where to step. She didn’t know why she was letting Trixie see her work, it was probably because Katya knew she wasn’t able to say no to Trixie.

Katya was a sucker for pretty faces, and even more so for people who were just as beautiful on the inside as they were the outside. She doubted Trixie would judge her and her work, even if the work on the canvases in here was a lot more different than the paintings on the walls in her room. 

“I guess you can look at whatever, just,” Katya hesitated. “Don’t judge me too much.” Trixie walked around, kneeling down and looking at every piece of work Katya had. 

“Oh my god, Katya. I truly mean this, this is some of the best art I have ever seen in my life.” Katya had a permanent blush on her face now. She felt shy, exposed at having Trixie’s eyes on her work. 

“Thank you.” Katya said, putting her hands over her face, trying to hide the embarrassment. “You don’t think it’s strange?”

“I think it’s the best type of strange.” Trixie responded, striding over to where Katya was standing. Trixie gently grabbed Katya’s wrists, bringing her hands down. “You’ve left me in awe.” 

Katya tried to look away, the smile growing on her face. There was a smile on Trixie’s own face, and Katya wanted to laugh at how stupid they probably looked. 

Two idiots smiling at each other while the rain poured down, the room dimly lit and the sky growing darker. Trixie’s hands were still holding Katya’s wrists, and Katya hoped that Trixie never let go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everybody! I hope you all liked this chapter, I won't be able to upload for a little while because i'm going to New York to spend some time with my family! You can talk to me on my tumblr though if you like, @totalrucall .  
> Please tell me what you think xx


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